To take the leap

As already mentioned I have planned to attend a munch, which is next week, only days away. Meep! There will be unknown people there, quite a few of them, I understand. People I will have to talk to if I want to have any hope of getting to know them. To meet someone new, one on one, can really be hard enough, but then at least I know who I should talk to. There aren’t any choices. This is one situation where I don’t mind if I don’t have any choice. If we don’t work, if we can’t talk together, well, that’s it.

In the case of this munch situation I can – and should – move from one I feel I can’t talk to, to someone else to try to talk to them. For instance, if someone is a big football fan and only want to talk about football and football players, I will have to try to find someone else to talk to. Fast. Football is most certainly not my thing. If someone wants to talk books, on the other hand, I will be delighted. I can almost always talk books. I sure hope someone want to talk books with me, to break the ice if nothing else. Books are good icebreakers.

On one hand I fear to talk to people. On the other hand, I fear that I will not find anyone to talk to. How does those two fit together? I don’t get it, but they do go hand in hand, so to speak.

As if this social experience is not enough, I have already decided on another. A play party, which is also next week. Double meep! I think I must be crazy to make two arrangements like that so close to another, but it’s really not my fault. It just happened that way. I originally planned to go to a munch-ish thing the week after next, but then I found out about the munch next week, and after that the play party, and I thought: Well … take the leap.

Some people go slowly out in the water while they decide if they want to go for a swim or not. I’m not one of those people. I always think the water is cold and I don’t like the sea, the rivers or the lakes. (Actually, I don’t like swimming or large bodies of water at all.) I decide if I want to take a swim despite those things, and if the answer is yes, I go out in the water as fast as I can and dip my head under to get that part over and done with. I take the leap. There is no reason to wait if I already know that I will not like the experience, at least at first. When I’m out there, I might decide I like it enough to stay for a little while longer. It’s not that I don’t worry that the water will be freezing cold, I do, but when I have set my mind to something I almost always see it through. I’m unreasonably stubborn.

When it comes to this play party I worry about the cold water, I’m afraid I have bitten over more than I can chew and I’m afraid that I’m the cat in Curiosity killed the cat. (Oh my, that is a lot of proverbs.) No, I don’t really think the experience will kill me, but since this is all so new, I don’t know how I will react to see someone play, even if I’m very curious. The munch is at least in a setting I know, dinner at a restaurant, but the play party … I don’t know. I just don’t know, and that comes in addition to the fact that I can be a bit frightened of new people and that people in general can be exhausting.

This is going to be fun indeed.

Sometimes I really wish that I’m not so very stubborn. But now that I have decided I should go, I will go, and that is that.

I take the leap.


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