Yesterday I was at my first munch. I ranted quite a bit about the fact that I was frightened of meeting new people and the closer it got to the time the munch started, the more nervous I got. I’m pretty sure I was pale the last minutes before I went in to meet the others, my hands was almost shaking. It was that bad. And it lasted all of ten minutes when I first got there and was met by smiles and warm greetings. The official greeter (I believe it was him was, at least) started talking and joking right away, getting me into a conversation.
Two hours later my face hurt from all the smiling and laughing. I even got to talk about books at one point! Yay! Not as an icebreaker though, since the ice already was broken between the guy and me. When the people next to me went out for a bit, this guy seated himself next to me and started talking. The chat was about where we lived, movies, TV series, kinky stuff, books and more. When I discovered that I had to go I was a bit choked, the time had gone by so quickly.
I can’t help but call this first munch a success. I got there, I talked to people and I had fun. Does this mean that I will not be nervous before the next munch, or before the play party later this week? No, not at chance. I’m still going to be nervous, very nervous, but maybe I will be a bit less nervous next time. And bit less nervous the time after that. It will take time and a lot of experience before I stop being nervous. Maybe I always will be a bit nervous. I don’t know yet, it’s too early to say.
At the very least I can now state for certain that I can have a good time, even if I’m a nervous wreck before I get there. Now, if I just could remember that part.
Sometimes I wish I could turn my thoughts off, just to make it quiet in there and let me do things without fretting about it for days beforehand. Gah!