Thoughts about sadism

As I have briefly mentioned before my feelings and opinions about sadism is split in two. On one hand I know enough about sadism and masochism to see that being a sadist is not a bad thing, not if you follow the rules. Both the SSC (Safe, Sane and Consensual), the RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) rules, and the rules that you make with your partner, for yourself and your partner. If a sadist does this, he or she is no worse than any other human, and other humans are no better than him or her. Intellectually I know this, I know this very well actually, but I still have some trouble accepting it.

Because while I know for sure that being a sadist has nothing with being bad or good, I, like most others, have been raised to ardently believe than hurting another human being is bad, no matter the circumstance. No, actually, if it’s in self-defense I have been taught to strike back, if I can’t run away. But other than in self-defense of yourself or others, violence is strictly forbidden. But then again, kinky sadism isn’t essentially violence, is it? If we define violence as something that is done in the heat of the moment and often with anger or desperation as a spur, then kinky sadism, which is always done (or should be done) with accuracy and warm feelings for the target aren’t violence at all.

I know the difference between violence and kinky sadism, but sometimes I still feel bad about liking to see people in play pain or thinking about hurting someone myself (sometime in the future when I know a lot more). I don’t feel bad all the time, far from it. Since I intellectually know that the bad feeling is wrong – that what happens between a sadist and a masochist isn’t bad at all – it’s merely uncomfortable to feel like this, and not something that makes me question myself a lot. Just a bit; now and again.

To be frank I believe it’s a good sign that I have this doubt and this discussion with myself, even if I find it slightly annoying at times. To accept that one likes to hurt other humans without question or hesitation, can’t possibly be a good thing. Personally, I would be a bit hesitant towards any who claimed to never have felt uncertain while they explored their kinky sadism. I guess there are exceptions, like a masochist (or someone else, for that matter) who have known lots of good and nice sadist before she/he figures out that she/he also like to hurt people. There are probably other good exceptions too, but ultimately I believe that a bit of self-doubt is a good thing in a sadist, healthy even, to begin with. It just proves that they are normal humans with a fully functional conscience.

This is my thoughts on sadism. Like most things, they will most likely change with time, or evolve, or disintegrate, I don’t know. All I know is that this is my thoughts, today.

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