Labels, part 2

So, I read the post about labels again, and I realized that I hadn’t written what I originally had wanted to write. At some point my train of thought had derailed and ended up … right where I wanted it. The important thing to remember is that no label will ever fit a whole human personality, so the train had ended up on the right station, but it skipped a few stations on the journey. The post was supposed to be about the labels in BDSM, the ones I’m struggling with right now, dominant, submissive, switch, sadist, masochist and all the others. I’m not obsessed with labels on a daily basis, I know that a label is not a person, but every time I feel insecure about myself and where I belong, I turn to the labels. It’s stupid, I know that. But I’m only human and as such, I’m full of weakness and doubt, in addition to strength, stubbornness and will.

My train of thought derailed (no harm done!), but since it ended up at the right station anyway, I’m not going to say more about it. It’s funny though, I had almost the whole post ready in my head, but when I wrote it, it didn’t come out quite right. I didn’t even notice before some hours after I posted it … I wonder what happened.

Hmm …



Yesterday I joined FetLife, because, apparently, that is one of the things one must do if one is a kinkster of any kind. And now I know why. Not only can you get to know people with the same interests as you, in the same area, and the rest of the world, of course. There are a lot of events that I otherwise would not have known existed. I found a munch that I think I would like to attend. I think, because I’m not really very good at getting out and meet people. People are scary. Or no, not really … but still, yes, yes, they are. Getting to know someone new is not easy for me. To try and get to know more than one, at once … I don’t know how that will work out for me. Hopefully I will dare to attend, and find out.

At one point, during my search through the World Wide Web of all things BDSM related, I came across a site that told about the steps one could take on the road to finding out if you fit in the BDSM world. There was nothing definite about it; it was just one possible road. The first step was to read about BDSM and kink, read and think, and maybe write down your thoughts. When you had read enough in your own opinion, you could try to find a munch in your area to attend to get to know people who had been, or were, at the same stage you are.

Both steps are good steps, good advice, in my opinion, and … I don’t remember what came next. Probably something like getting to know someone to experiment with/play with/learn with or from. Yes, that seems likely. If you are so inclined, of course. Never do something you are not okay with; that’s one good advice I have read time and time again these last months. Never do something you are not okay with yourself, or do something to another person that they are not okay with, or try to make them do it. Everyone have limits, also when it comes to sex and BDSM, maybe especially on that point. Respect the limits, both your own and others. A no is always a no, no matter the circumstances.

Some other advice I have read when it comes to finding your way in the BDSM world, was join FetLife and attend a munch. It can be that simple too, and you can learn almost solely by talking with others. If you aren’t a control freak like me, and want to know as much as possible, beforehand. Not that it has helped me much, so far.

To sum it up; I joined FetLife, which I consider to be a good thing. And I’m thinking quite seriously about attending a munch, because I believe that I might be ready for the next step.

Time will show, I suppose.

A ravens ranting(s)


You may call me Raven, if you want to. Or possibly Rave; that works too.

As you may have guessed, this is my shiny new blog. And I’m going to do my best to make it dirty, in a good way of course. (Dirty in a bad way is only mudslinging, no?)

This will be my personal space to rant and to rave about … anything, really, that catches my fancy. But I’m guessing sex will be a part of it, maybe a lot of it. Right now it’s what I need to rant about. You see, I’m confused about the whole sex issue. Or, not all of it, but still, quite a bit. The kinky bit, that is.

So yes, rantings will happen, ravings to, I presume. Musings, loud thinking, guessing, asking, and some more ranting. I’m fairly good at rantings. I think so myself, anyway.

One day, when I feel particularly brave (I’m really rather shy), I’m going to make some links to other blogs that I have enjoyed reading and that have given me both answers and more questions, in addition to a lot of fun. There is so much out there! Some of the better blogs have made me quite addicted and I have gone through years of blogging.

English is not my first language, so I apologize in advance for any and all spelling- and grammar mistakes that may occur on my blog, despite the word check that’s in place. I’m an avid reader, and writer, so I’m not fond of mistakes, but it will happen, I have no doubt.

If you have any comments or just want to say hello, please leave a message. Thanks!